I’ve been reflecting lately about when you can start calling yourself a children’s writer or a creator of anything. When you publish your first book? When someone pays you something for it? When you’re brave enough to say, this is what I do; maybe not full time, but hey, that doesn’t matter.
I’ve been struggling with feeling timid about telling people that I am bringing out a CD of children’s songs. It feels … presumptuous somehow. Like I should have a degree behind me, or at least some incredible expertise in playing an instrument, or an amazing singing voice. But all I have is a fascination with language, rhyme and catchy tunes.
Elizabeth Gilbert has written many things in her wonderful book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear which have strongly resonated with me. One is about having the courage to ignore the voice within you that tells you you’re being ‘self-indulgent and preposterous to do this crazy thing.’ She says living creatively is ‘living a life that is driven more strongly by curiosity than by fear’. And let’s face it, there’s too much fear around. Fear people will laugh at me, won’t take me seriously, not like my work, and so on.
I know my work is not going to appeal to everyone. Some will think it’s too educational. Some will think it’s not educational enough. But that’s okay. No song or book appeals to everyone.
I could write a lot about how I’m not qualified to bring out a CD like this. But I won’t. When I say, all I have is a fascination with language, rhyme and catchy tunes, that’s not telling the whole story. I’ve been working on becoming a better writer for more than three years. I’ve taken workshops and courses in song writing, creative writing and children’s writing. I’ve gone to writing conferences and paid for manuscript critiques. I’ve joined online forums and critique groups and submitted my work for others’ review. I’ve entered competitions. I’ve attended a conference for Australian teachers of Indonesian to get teachers’ perspectives, I’ve asked for feedback from teachers and musicians. I’ve sung and played music throughout. And I’ve continued to write and revise and write and revise.
And each time I heard the voice inside me saying, there’s no point in doing this, you may as well give up now, I stubbornly persisted.
As Elizabeth Gilbert writes: You do not need anybody’s permission to live a creative life. Life’s so short so just get on with what you want to do and stop worrying about what other people think.
Also, your art doesn’t need to change the world. So true! I certainly didn’t write songs with the aim of more children learning Indonesian or having an appreciation for Indonesian life. I wrote them for me and for my children and because these are the kinds of songs I love.
All this is to say I don’t know what will happen in the future but that I’m extremely proud to have a CD that I’ll be launching next month. And sometimes it’s just about finishing one project so you can move onto the next!
For details of the launch on 28 October 2016, visit the Ubud Writers & Readers Festival.